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U97

Under 9'sWoking Cougars VS Chertsey TownSunday 1st March 09Yeeeesss, it’s back. The Burger Van, I mean, not that it is of any interest to myself, I am just looking out for a fellow Cougar in Mr Losty, as I know it is his first port of call on a Sunday morning to nurse the hangover he usually has.Following last week’s League win against Feltham it was the league again today with our second match up against Chertsey this season. The first match had ended with a 0-1 win to the Cougars in what was a tight game and today was expected to be no different. The ‘Team Lawyer’ was still under review after the Farnham debacle and Local Government has now been drafted in to report on the findings contained within the ongoing inquest with the high level ‘deep dive’ meetings now at Titanic levels. The report from Specsavers was damming but did raise questions over his ability to co-ordinate one leg in front of the other and also his ability to be impartial and not favour the away teams. Still under suspension by the Board of Governors within Woking Cougars FC the duty of being in charge fell to ‘Lord Stanford’ who was ably supported on the touchline by his dutiful wife ‘Lady Stanford’, who this week had delegated the Oranges to others on the premise that as she had done them once this season and ‘it was someone else’s turn’. This is all very well, however as ‘Team Rep’ the ‘Lady of the Manor’ so to speak, must step up to the plate and be seen to be ‘On the pitch and not in the crowd’ and next season produce a spreadsheet with a critical flow chart analysis that provides an even distribution of ‘Orange Duty’ amongst the Team and not the current format that favours herself and her partner in crime on this topic ‘Madame Hobbs’ who quite frankly this season has forgotten what an Orange looks like.Touchline reporting was co-ordinated by ‘Fluffy Wench’ Madico. And with his recently sharpened HB pencil we were all set to go. ‘Cannon and Ball’ tinkered with the starting line up slightly again. Jamie was between the posts; Adam and Xav at the back, Lewis, Stef and Dan were in midfield and James up front with Ethan as sub. The match got off to a frenzied start with both teams looking to exert some form of dominance over each other. Chertsey looked slightly stronger to begin with but the Cougars got into their stride almost immediately and nullified any advantage that Chertsey may have had.The game continued with the same exhilarating pace throughout as the match was end to end stuff. Both teams were threatening but unable to break the deadlock.Whilst physical the game was not dirty and the boys knew that they were going to have to earn their corn today and responded brilliantly. Chertsey would probe then Cougars would counter but half time approached and the game was at a stalemate. Just before half time with a break in the game I could see our No 10 having a quiet word in ‘Lord Stanford’s’ ear about the kicking, pushing and physical battering he was taking and that was off the ball. Half time arrives and it is 0-0, time for ‘Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee’ to weave their magic. Fully juiced the boys are sent back out onto the field and as soon as the second half starts they are flying. James has adopted a slightly wider role on the right to get away from his ‘nemesis’ and it is a break down this side that leads to the opening goal. A Chertsey attack is broken down by the defensive brilliance of Adam and Xav and James picks up the ball roughly halfway inside our half. He runs with the ball and with his ‘tormenter’ steaming towards him, he opens up and leaves him for dead and I mean he was floundering like Mr Hobbs when told it is his round. At this point the other defender is wondering ‘what the heck do I do here’, well here is a word of advice -come across and try to tackle James and leave Lethal Ethan free in the box or stay with your man?? He decided to come across and with pinpoint accuracy James fires in a low cross to Ethan and guess what?? 1-0 to the Cougars.The boys are sensing victory now and are playing well. In fairness the goal did not knock Chertsey off their stride and within five minutes through a long range looping effort it was 1-1. It was a good goal, I have to say and poor old Jamie had no chance.The Cougars were roaring now and the whole team were turning in a dogged performance, every single one of them, playing like it was a Cup Final. The midfield quartet of Stef, Lewis, Dan and Ethan were putting in a commanding performance and as a result James was getting more and more space on the right to stretch his legs and this did not go unnoticed by the Chertsey management and supporters. Comments were flying around, not maliciously mind you and tactics on the pitch involved players trying to throw our No 10 off his rhythm. James was given a breather for five minutes whilst Stevie G had a chat with the No 10 explaining the reasons behind what was going on and then he was sent back onto the battle field and told to cause complete carnage and carry on as he was doing absolutely nothing wrong.The game was becoming a titanic battle with both teams looking for the win but alas it was not to be and in the process Ethan ended up with a boot in the face and a ‘shiner’ that would remind him of this game for a few days. The match finished with a Cougars attack but unfortunately we could not force the ball over the line and the spoils on this occasion were shared.Congratulations must go to ‘Lord Stanford’ who controlled the game throughout and let it flow and it turned into a real spectacle, so well done David. Final Score: Woking Cougars 1 Chertsey Town 1Manager’s Quote: ‘Another great performance. Good to find form going into the Semi’.Coaches Quote: ‘End to end footy finishing in a fair result. Not good for the heart though’.Man of the Match – AdamGoals – EthanBest Effort – JamesMatch Report Compiled By: John ‘Lead in my pencil’ Madico.

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